Dear Editor:

To his already-impressive resume, Trump has added mass-marketing the King James Version of the Bible, printed in large type, along with foundational American documents and a slice of Lee Greenwood’s lyrics.

The four-times-married, former blackjack dealer in Las Vegas and patriotic crooner is partnering with the three-times-married, former developer of failed casinos — currently indicted on 91 felony counts — to revive Christianity in the Good Old U.S. of A. (aka These United States).

Unfortunately, we can no longer support our former president (“better than Lincoln, better than Washington”) by checking into The Trump Taj Mahal, The Trump Plaza, The Trump Castle, or any other hotels and casinos owned by Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc. Trump Shuttle Inc. and Trump University are bankrupt, alas, nor can we drink Trump vodka or eat Trump steaks.

We can’t get a loan from Trump Mortage LLC or travel assistance from GoTrump.com. And for those of us who are planning a dream vacation in Azerbaijan, know that we cannot check into Trump International Hotel & Tower Baku, partially built by the corrupt Mammadov family with the assistance of Ivanka Trump; it has never opened its doors.

We can only hope that the Trump business curse does not put Scripture out of print!

But take heart: Some of us bought The Never Surrender High-Tops, gilded sneakers (“bold, gold, and tough, just like President Trump”) for $399 before they sold out; and we can still purchase a sheet of nine Color Block Vinyl Decals, featuring Trump’s mug shot from the Atlanta jail.

Other MAGA merch includes items such as the ‘Trump Was Right About Everything’ bumper sticker, Liberal Tears Freedom Fire Hot Sauce, ‘Mean Tweets World Peace 2024’ mugs, and a copy of The 1896 Prophecies: 10 Predictions of America’s Last Days (oops — sorry; already sold out).

My favorite Easter gift, though, has got to be the ‘Trump Is My Jesus’ classic unisex tee for $32.99.

Bill Hammond

Boothbay